Actually, I'm not angry, just bitterly disappointed. And I shouldn't be, but I'm an idiot who always starts to get her hopes up, only to have them torn to shreds.

I know in my last post and all I made a thing about how i wasn't going to celebrate my birthday, but frankly, I think that's irrelevant.

Here's why I'm angry/bitterly disappointed:

My brother Daniel is going to Fiji for three weeks at the end of March. He's not going to be here for my birthday. My 21st. Fuck I cried so much yesterday. He hasn't been to one of my birthdays in so fucking long. 5 years I'd say. Always some excuse. Last year he didn't come to my 19th-the-sequel because he went to a friend's 21st. I just though maybe he'd make an effort for this one after I did SO much for his 21st and had to put up with all his shit on the day.

And what did he say?? Oh, I forgot. I thought you weren't going to be doing anything big for your birthday anyway.

Relevance much.

I know that life so far should have shown me not to actually hope for anything, but I still do it.