Queen of the Damned

lolamy @ 2007-10-21T10:51:00

2007-10-21T01:01:49Z

Went for a job interiew for Borders Kotara. If I get it it means that I'll be moving up to Lake Mac in less than a month. Holymoly!!! Had a fun weekend hanging out with emma and her sis.

Linking Park concert tonight, court tomorrow morning for mum and dad's settlement. Second Border's interview on Thursday, so I hope I get it.

Nonno's back in hospital. No word on when he's getting out. He's just so sick.

Nothing else new.

Shouldn't life just be easy?

2007-08-12T11:33:09Z

Well, shouldn't it??

I'm just down in the dumps, have been for weeks, after the realisation that one of my best friends is no longer my best friend and I feel like our friendship is terribly forced.

And my granddad's in hospital. And my great-uncle just died. And I'm a miserable loser. And I've put on weight since I got back because I'm a miserable loser.

Seriously, when did everything become so overwhelming????

Pity Party, table for One.

2007-06-11T23:43:22Z

So I've been home for about 3 weeks now. How is it that I'm more miserable here than I was in the States??

My grandma went into hospital last Wednesday for a knee replacement, and basically I'm going to not be able to work until she's able to drive again. So I need to be the mother for my little sister, look after my sick grandad, and when nan gets out of hospital at the end of the week I'll need to be looking after her too.

It just occurred to me last night and this morning, HOW IS THIS FAIR??? Why am I the one that has to put my life on hold?? I had to fight with my brother to let me leave the house for TWO HOURS on Friday night just so I could breathe, because he wanted to go out. Um, he's been out all week. Yes, I understand he was at the Police Academy, but he's around his friends the whole time. I don't understand why it's all left to me. I'm so sick of it. I'm just expected to not work or do anything until nan's well. Meanwhile, on Sunday night, Dan, my brother, was hanging out with Jonas, my cousin. I don't get an invitation, and this isn't some *boo hoo I'm left out* sob story. It's the fact that they're all able to lead normal lives, but I have to stay around and look after my sister. My friends asked me to do something last night too, but I couldn't because I had to pick my sister up because she was out with a friend, and had to stay home and make dinner for her. How is this OK??? We're all the grandkids, but I'm the one that has to be the fucking housewife. Plus, there's all this bullshit with my graddad being angry at my brother and I, but that's OK because Daniel doesn't have to be in the house - he just calls his girlfriend and she'll pick him up, and he'll stay at her place, and come home whenever it suits him.

Meanwhile, I have no money, because I'm not working. I'm supposed to be moving up to Newcastle next year and going to uni, which I can totally afford to do with NO MONEY. And I'm probably going to move up earlier to help my friend out whose house and car were flooded this weekend with NO MONEY, and I really do want to move up earlier because I can't deal with being here anymore. And I'm supposed to be able to pay my credit cards at the same time with the zero funds I don't have.

AND WHERE THE FUCK IS JONAS????? I haven't seen him since I got back. He hasn't come to visit nonno or see if he's OK. Or to offer to help. Why?? Because he isn't expected to. But I am.

And they all go, WELL, We've been doing all this while you've been away for the past year, because you haven't been here. Please. You took nonno to the hospital a few times. That's what I've had to do my WHOLE LIFE. Wow, you gave up a few days out of your entire year. None of them gave up their job, or their social life, or their ability to be a normal teenager, or adult. I'm so over this. NOBODY ELSE HAS TO DO THIS.

I know it's selfish to think this way, but don't I deserve to be able to do my own thing? I've always done shit for this family and no one acknowledges anything. All I've heard while I've been away is how good the boys are for driving nonno to his doctor's appointments and hospital. Wow. Aren't they so good.

Um. I did all that. Already. I've been doing all that. Even while I was away I had to still deal with shit going on at home. But I'm not as good as everyone else. I don't get a thank you.

lolamy @ 2007-05-04T11:49:00

2007-05-04T16:51:21Z

So Oprah was great but.................... I WATCHED THE SHOW LAST NIGHT AND I WAS BLOODY ON IT!! Only for a few seconds, but I looked like shit and it was such a long closeup of my friend and I. SO embarassing! With all the good looking people in the audience, why choose us? Well, me at least. ;)

Food Issues

2007-05-03T02:08:57Z

So, today I decided to try going for one day without junkfood.

It was the hardest and longest day of my life.

I have some serious food issues if I couldn't go one day without fighting myself to not eat any junkfood. I even think I failed too, because I ate 5 Cheezits. I think they might be considered "junk". But really, don't you think there's something wrong with a person who struggles to go ONE DAY without crap???

I'm going to try again tomorrow, but it'll be hard. Plus, I'm having Subway for dinner tomorrow night so I think that means I automatically fail. I can't help that though.

Meanwhile, I'm SO EXCITED about going to Oprah tomorrow!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!

Wow. Something GOOD :O

2007-05-01T22:51:19Z

So, yesterday I scored tix to OPRAH, my GOD. I'm so excited I could scream. I go on Thursday. I need to be downtown at 7AM. Shite. I'll be leaving the house BEFORE SIX! All kinds of wrong. But I don't care! It's Oprah!

And today the Pumas I ordered from Lady Footlocker arrived! I was shocked. First of all, if the store doesn't have your size they order them for you and they DELIVER THEM TO YOUR HOUSE at no extra charge!! I was happy with just that, but because I have a student advantage card, I got $10 off, so my already cheap $65 shoe became $55, and I ordered them Sunday and they arrived TODAY, TUESDAY!!! Hells yeah!!!

Yes, it's sad that shoes make me very happy. Their arrival also means I have to throw away my old Pumas. Poor darlings have carked it. :( They were so good to me too!

lolamy @ 2007-04-23T12:34:00

2007-04-23T17:35:45Z

I spent 15 minutes curling my hair today and I don't want to leave the house. I think it's because it's windy and I'm wearing a skirt. I might just be using that as an excuse though. I really need to get some groceries, but I totally can't be arsed. I have severe issues.

lolamy @ 2007-04-21T17:51:00

2007-04-21T22:57:09Z

So I'm thinking I'll stay. I feel so selfish though.

Last week, before I'd found out nonno was back in hospital, I'd bought this "Grandfather's Memories" book in Barnes and Noble, and I was going to bring it home with me and fill it out then, but just in case I sent it home today to my brother for him to fill out. I hate even thinking like this, like if I think he's probably going to die soon then he will. And then another part of me is like, hello?? He's 89! He's had a good run! Thing is though, this man, before he was diagnosed with leukemia 3 weeks after I arrived here, was the fittest man in the world. I was so shocked when I found out he was in and out of hospital. This was the same man who, in my 22 years, I had only seen sick twice, once with gastric, the other time with the flu. He was in hospital in 2005 for a hip replacement. So of course he'd get fucking cancer and then get even sicker.

Cunts.

I don't know who the cunts are. But I'm just so fucking angry right now.

lolamy @ 2007-04-19T22:15:00

2007-04-20T03:15:01Z

I'm freaking the eff out. I think my granddad's dying but can't get a straight answer from anyone. I have only 33 more days here, but I'm thinking I should cut it back. The main problem is that it'll leave me about $2000US out of pocket, and I don't have the money to go home.

My mind keeps running everything around in circles and I'm going nuts.

I just don't want to be here and have him die without me seeing him. He raised me - he's practically my dad.

My head hurts.

Off to NY!

2007-03-27T11:52:50Z

Hey guys. Leaving for the airport in ten mins.

Hopeful plans for today: UN building (I get to go to "another country" today!!), fingers crossed I can get into Les Miserables. Other than that I'm not sure. Maybe FAO Schwartz or something.

Nervous as all hell. First time travelling solo anywhere, and I realise I'm only alone for 3 days, but that's 3 EVENINGS that I'm alone!!!! Oh well!

Love you all!!!

Total Devastation

2007-03-24T03:56:33Z

Life isn't worth living.

As you all know, my real goal for the past ten months has been to worship at the temple of Oprah.

Well, today, I came the closest I may ever come to that goal and I blew it!!!!

Maybe I didn't blow it, but it was ruined for me.

So here's the deal: once a month (like today) the Oprah ticket line opens for 5 hours and you have to somehow manage to get your call through. Not that you can actually get through, and like always the line was engaged for me all day.

However, someone called me!!!! See, there's a second chance! On her website you can email for last minute availability for the show and I did that a few weeks ago. Today, someone called me to say that there were tickets to a taping that I could have.

HOORAH!!!!! JOY OF JOYS!!!!

Oh, but wait - they were for NEXT THURSDAY. When I'm in New York.

I damn near cried.

I'll keep trying though. It's what I do.

Draining

2007-03-13T14:14:04Z

What is it about me that makes people confide in me? I'm always the one that people turn to when they're upset and don't know what to do. It's so draining. Does that sound selfish? It's just that it feels like by the time the other person gets off the phone their problems are solved and they feel better, but I feel like I have nothing left in me.

Last night Natalia, one of the new au pairs, called me in tears because of her situation. So I stayed on the phone with her for an hour, and I hope I helped, but afterwards I was so tired, and I just wanted to lay down and never wake up. I also found it odd that I would be the one she's turn to when she was most upset. She's been here for 2 months, but I've maybe met up with her three or four times. This is the bad thing about being over here when you're new and you haven't really got any best friends yet, you need to start thinking about who you'll turn to that isn't back home. I was lucky because I had Lara, although, that said, when I'd been here for 2 months Lara and I had only really known each other for 3 weeks.

I dunno. This is just a rant because I'm always the person that shit gets dumped on. My family always does this to me, and I just found it hard to have to help someone that really, I don't know all that well.

Today I booked my flight home!!!!!

2007-03-08T14:13:55Z

Hoorah!!!

Here's the flight details:

I T I N E R A R Y :
DATE: Tuesday, May 22, 2007
DEPART: San Francisco, CA (SFO) 08:35 AM
ARRIVE: Oahu - Honolulu (HNL) 10:40 AM
CLASS/ROUTE: Coach/Nonstop
FLIGHT: HA11

DATE: Tuesday, May 22, 2007
DEPART: Oahu - Honolulu (HNL) 12:30 PM
ARRIVE: Sydney, Australia (SYD) 06:55 PM (May 23)
CLASS/ROUTE: Coach/Nonstop
FLIGHT: HA451

**dances jig**

I'm so excited!!! I just thought to myself, you know, SFO is close to Australia; maybe I should look up how much a flight from there would set me back. Turns out it's a lot less than the deposit I paid to come here, so I not only have my flight home booked, but I will also be getting my deposit back and have about $100 left to spare!!! Bloody Cultural Care trying to rip me off.

So now I'm just saving up some more money for the flight from O'Hare to SFO - I've got $140 of it, just need $50 more (stupid $30 in taxes - honestly, the taxes on a flight from Chicago to San Fran are the same as the taxes from San Fran to Syd. How does that work?????).

So share the happiness with me - it's all happening!!!

New York!!!!

2007-02-23T13:16:08Z

So here it is: My New York weekend, aka, BEST WEEKEND EVER, or, BWE for short. ;)

Basically, long story short, on Thursday night I was whinging to Frances about how expensive my New York trip was costing me and how I was Not Happy Jan about the whole thing. It was the Presidents Day weekend and John and Jack were in Hawaii, and Sarah and Frances were going to San Diego, so Frances suggested that I see if I can find someone to go with me this weekend and go to NYC on her United buddy passes.

Hmmm.... free flight to NYC. Should I take it? Decisions, decisions....... YUHUH!

Managed to rustle up Judith on Friday morning and we left that night. Best flight EVER. Somehow, even though it was United, we managed to get the only nice flight attendant they have. She was lovely. Her name was Jackie and she was so sweet! She saw us looking at a guide book and was asking us if we had any plans, and she suggested things to do, then she said that the other side of the plane was best to see Manhattan when we fly in, so she made a guy move his jacket from a pair of seats so we could sit there and called the captain a few times to make sure we'd be flying over from that side and everything. After the flight she got us to follow her to make sure we got to the taxis and stuff correctly. Honestly, nicest person EVER!

So we stayed at the HI hostel, which was great cos it was right near a subway station, which, btw, is so frigging easy to navigate, and so convenient. Anyone wanna make a suggestion to shitty rail?!

The next morning, after 4 hours sleep, we went out to get our fill of Manhattan. First stop, Times Square.
Times Square is so cool - just like the movies. It was so cold though that we both bought ear warmers.

After this we went to the Radio City Music Hall, Rockefeller Centre to see the ice skating, then went into the NBC shop to look at the merchandise (gots me a "Passions" magnet - booyah!). I don't know if this made the news in Oz, but it was all over it here: there's this girl that hasn't stopped hiccupping in 3 weeks. Well, she was in the store browsing. I thought it was just weird that there was this girl just hiccupping away like it was normal, then I overheard a sales assistant mention who she was to one of the others. Quite funny.

After this we went to Saks 5th Ave. Of course, you know me - I had to try on all the hats. This one was only $1000. I'll buy it for the next funeral I have to attend.

Next door was St. Patrick's Cathedral. We'd heard that it was used in an episode of Sex and the City (the ep where Samantha tries to hook up with the Friar), but coming home, I've heard it's a different church. I've got to rewatch the ep.

After this we went to Madison Square Garden and into Penn Station to meet up with Judith's cousin. We then walked through Central Park, which was lovely because all these familyies with little kids were there sledding on the hills, to Strawberry Fields where the John Lennon Memorial is.

I like it. It's just a simple mosaic on the ground. Very effective.
Of course, we then had to cross the street to the Dakota apartment building that he was shot outside of.

God I'm morbid.

We walked on to the Museum of Natural History, which I had to see because I'm cheap (it has a "suggested" fee of $15, but I decided to just pay $5), a nerd, and it was in the movie "Night at the Museum", which I love.

I loved this museum, but we couldn't see everything because we didn't have much time. Also, Judith's cousin didn't seem like a museum person. In fact, she wasn't even a sight seeing person. I got really annoyed with her for several reasons:
1) I was running on very little sleep
2) She's an au pair about an hour from NYC (New York State), has been here for six months and she hadn't even been to Central Park because she doesn't really go "sight seeing".
3) Couldn't navigate the subway. I'd been there three hours and I was doing just fine. It was soooo easy.
4) Seemed to want to do anything but go to the places I wanted to go. Too bad - my vacation. :P

Anyway, after the museum we went to Times Square to try and get half price Broadway tickets, but because we got there so late (2:30, ticket booth opens at 3) there was a huge mother line. The girls didn't want to bother lining up, so I didn't get to see a Broadway show, which contributed greatly to the crankiness. ;)

We then went to a German pub for lunch/dinner (linner? Dunch?) and Judith and I left at about 6:30. Judith asked if I was tired (we had both felt exhausted before we got to the pub) and neither of us was, so we decided to go to the Empire State building.

Beautiful views, which is to be expected.
Then we went back to the hostel and planned out our trip for Sunday right down to the subway line and station. God, we're good.

Woke up on Sunday, got ready, then headed out to Tom's Restaurant. It's a diner. You might be familiar with it, seeing as the outside of it is used in nearly every single Seinfeld episode!!!!

I'm such a loser. It was too exciting.

Next we walked through Central Park again, this time past the Jackie O Reservoir.

We went past the Guggenheim, but the steep entry fee ($18) and the long line outside turned us off. Instead, we went down the street to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. With it's "suggested" fee (I paid $5 again) and it's HUGENESS it was a definate winner. Honestly, this biatch's collection was extensive. They'd even recreated an Egyptian Tomb inside it, and whole French Revolution or Elizabethan rooms in it. Seriously, you'd need a whole day to really explore it. We had to really rush through. :(

After this, Judith and I made our pilgrimmage to Mecca: Carrie's stoop. 66 Perry St in Greenwich Village. Whilst she supposedly lives on the upper east side, that's the stoop they use for outside shots of her apartment.

And just around the corner? Magnolia's Bakery! We stood in line for half an hour in the cold for these babies, and they were worth every bit of the $2 each (you had to buy a minimum of 12).
Mmmmmm..... soooo sweeeet, but sooooo goooooooood!!!!!

After that we went to Ground Zero. We only stayed for about 15 minutes because it really is very sad. They have metal fences errected around the site and they have big photos up taken from the day. I think one of the photos that really got me was a picture taken of a street full of people all looking up and all of them have their mouths open, their faces showing shock, horror, disbelief and fear. It was like Arlington Cemetery and the Dakota apartment: it feels wrong to take photos, but you just want something to remind you of how you felt at that moment, and to capture it.

Like I said, we only stayed to a short time. We then went to Century 21, a big department store across the road (love the juxtaposition), and then hopped on the subway to Brooklyn where we had dinner at this apparently really famous pizzeria called Grimaldi's. We were lucky because there was no line when we got there. About 15 minutes later though, there was about an hour's line outside in the cold. I so wouldn't have bothered. The pizza was good though. =)

We finished off our weekend with another trip back to Times Square, then went to bed to wake up at the ungodly hour of 3:45am (I fell alseep again after the alarm went off - we were supposed to get up at 3:20) and went to the airport. We were worried that we wouldn't get on our flight (the buddy passes we had were only standby tickets) but managed to get the last two seats on the plane.

So that was our weekend. I can't even tell you how happy it made me. After let down after let down, it was nice for something unexpected to happen that just went perfectly, right from the very beginning with Jackie our FA. =) Heck, I'm still happy, and I haven't nearly caught up on any sleep from the weekend. It's funny: Saturday I had nasty dark circles under my eyes, Sunday I had accompanying bags, and by the time we got to the airport on Monday I had bags under my bags. Hot.

I'm still going back for Spring Break, but I'll be cutting it down by three days. I'm actually looking forward to being by myself for a few days. As fun as it was having Judith there with me, I think I want to do the museums properly without having to worry that I'm boring someone with my taste in artwork and wanting to stand in front of one painting for an hour.

Not in the mood...

2007-02-23T13:13:01Z

I'm working lots of Saturdays, including tomorrow. At least, I think I am. I hated the way John phrased the question, and he only asked me yesterday: "Are you around Saturday night?" (who's ever just "around" on a saturday night?????), and I was like, "I'm not sure yet what we're doing... and he's like, "well, I have this dinner thing I want to go to" (Frances will be out of town for one of her sorority things) "and i just wanted someone to look after jack."
Me: ummmm.....
John: hey, look, I'm just seeing if you want to, otherwise i can ask sarah.
Me: (thinking why the hell didn't he ask Sarah in the first place????????) Well, I'm not sure yet...
John: Ok, look, whatever, that's fine, we'll work something out.

So I think I'm working, which is stupid because my Saturday is already ruined because I have to take sarah to this exam thing for highschool and pick her up from it, and I know they don't consider that to be working times, cos i'm just dropping off and picking up and doing nothing in the meantime, it means that my Saturday is already broken up and I can't go downtown or something... I can't really do ANYTHING that requires more than an hour or so.

ARGH! I hate how John tries to make me feel guilty into doing something. Or to at least coerce me into doing it like I have the choice. Why not flat out say I need you to work this weekend?? Because then it's HIS decision. The way he does it, I know the meaning is that I really have to do it, but he doesn't want to come out and say it, cos then he's the bad one, and this way it's my decision. GRRRRR.

Ummmm

2007-02-16T15:37:30Z

OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO NEW YORK TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slump

2007-01-24T23:24:43Z

I'm stuck. I'm down and I seem to be unable to get up. I'm not sure if this is temporary or permanent. How does one tell? If it's temporary, then I can't see the end. If it's permanent, but I treat it as temporary, then I'll be waiting and waiting for it to get better, but it won't.

I wrote to Nicole, the former au pair, today about how I'm feeling at the moment and she said:

"nothing has changed. NOTHING! OMG i feel so bad for you sarah! i cant explain how bad i feel ... because i knew exactly whats going on and sometimes i thought i should have warned you *laugh* but then i thought it might just be me who feels that way about the kids, the parents etc. but when i read your blogs i had the feeling that was me who posted that. seriously!!!!"

I feel a bit better knowing that it's not just me. Actually, I feel A LOT better knowing that, because that's been one of the tough things, thinking that out of all these au pairs they've had, I'm the only one with problems.

Not in the mood

2007-01-19T13:12:43Z

I'm so over this week. I can't remember if I mentioned it, but last Monday, my best friend Lara left to go back to Germany. It's ok-ish, cos I'm going to see her at the end of my time here. It just sucks not having her here to hang out with, so I'm sort of friendless. I still have people to hang out with, but I'm kind of the charity case. Whatever.

This week I've worked 38 hours so far. Not in the mood to work any more. Especially after what they did to me on Sunday night. I can't remember if I've written about it on here. Well, you know how I was getting excited about my vacation with my brother and cousin, even if I was whingeing that they were driving me nuts with the organisation of the whole thing? Well, Frances and John, my host parents, on Sunday night told me that I can't have the two weeks' off together, I can have one week over Spring break, then take the other at the end of the year. Fucking cunts. I haven't been so upset in a long time. So now I'm not going to be able to see the west coast while I'm here. You know, the whole reason I even wanted to come here was to travel. Fucking cunts. That's right, I said the c-word. Don't fucking tell me I can have two weeks off, let me organise the fucking thing, then turn around and say I can't.

So yeah, not in the mood.

ARGH!!!

2007-01-11T13:25:53Z

Man, I'm getting annoyed at my brother and my cousin. They're apparently going to come out at the end of March to the middle of April and want to travel a bit with me, and I have to bloody organise it, which is fine, if annoying. You should try organising something with these two as your help.

Examples of emails back and forth are:

Me: Which cities do you guys want to see?
Brother: I think cousin wants to see things I've already seen.
Cousin: Yeah, I want to see the typical touristy stuff.

Where's a brick wall I can bang my head against? All the houses here are made of wood.

But this morning I get an email from my brother saying that he and my cousin were thinking it would be good to do a tour to see everything. Yeah, great, EXCEPT I HAVE NO MONEY. Seriously, the seem to forget that I earn less than the minimum wage.

Dickheads. And if they come here then go do a tour by themselves I'll be so angry.

Need people's opinions.

2006-12-23T08:33:33Z

On my blog, the one I write in regularly cos I forget to copy and paste the entries here (www.aupairsarah.blogspot.com), people, or maybe just one person, have/has been saying that I should stop whinging and start appreciating my experience.

And so I ask, what the hell is a blog for if not to vent???

Fuck

2006-12-09T00:38:56Z

So I'm sitting here in my room crying cos Jack called me a dummy.

Yes folks, it's that time of the month again.

Obsessed

2006-12-08T04:10:21Z

On the weekend I stayed in a hotel there was a scale in there. When I got here I was 205 pounds (makes me cringe to think of a number that big!). I know that cos I had to do a med exam as part of my application process and the doctor wrote pounds so the Americans would be able to understand it.

Well, I haven't stepped on a scale since I got here because the only scale they have in the house is an electronic one where it records each person so you can keep track, and there's only enough places for each family member, so I haven't been able to use it.

Not that I'd want to. I'm not a weigher. Never have been. It's bad enough to look in the mirror, let alone see it in numerical form. =)

So I thought, ooh, let's see how much I've gained. Obviously, it's a gain, because since I got here all I've done is sit on my arse eating chocolate.

My weight? 187.3.

To say I was shocked is an understatement. That's over 10kgs lost!!! Sure, it took place over 6 months, so that's not that great, but it's the fact that I even lost it in the first place!!! And now that I know I've lost weight, I keep looking in the mirror wondering where the hell it came off. If anything I'd say I look bigger. But I did bring a pair of really tight pants (who bloody knows why) and I tried them on after I found out about the weight loss and they actually fit me normally. :O But my belly's still HUGE!

Which leads me to ask:

How fucking fat was I?????

This is just ridiculous. I wish I'd never stepped on the scales at all because now all I do is think about it. I never used to think about my weight. Now, every piece of food I put in my mouth makes me think, hmmm, will this change my weight? But you know what? Knowing I've lost weight makes me want to eat more.

I dunno. It's weird. I have to stop obsessing. Take me back to last week before I knew and it was always on my brain.

Anyway, going to Aspen next weekend. Should be great. I don't ski though. I refuse to. I'm just gonna sit in the house and read. Mmmmmmm. =)

Oh, HELL NO!

2006-10-29T14:33:30Z

Today I learnt that you CAN'T PLEASE SOME FARKING PEOPLE.

You don't understand how angry I am right now.

Last night I was at my friend's place and went to the toilet where it proceeded to start flushing AND NOT STOP and overflowed. I did everything I could to stop it from running, and we put towels on the ground to soak up the water because it LEAKED DOWN ONTO THE NEXT FLOOR INTO MY FRIEND'S ROOM. By the time her host parent's came home, I had plunged my hand into the toilet several times in order to try and find out why it was clogged. I think that's something no person in their lifetime should have to face.

We did everything we could to try and unclog the toilet and stop the water from leaking through. And you know what I heard from my friend this morning?

The least I could do is put the towels in the laundry.

WTF??? THERE WAS WATER ON THE GROUND! It had to be soaked up. I was afraid that there was be more overflow so I left the towels there to soak up the water and ..........

WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED TO MAKE EXCUSES??? I PUT MY HAND INTO DIRTY TOILET WATER BECAUSE THEIR BLOODY PLUMBING IS UP SHlT CREEK (hehe, pun)!!!!!!!!!

And the least I could have done was take the towels to the laundry room.

Gay Paree

2006-10-28T06:46:31Z

Ok guys, guess what!

Oh, go on, guess.

You know you want to....

Lol.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'M GOING TO PARIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yuhuh. But only for a few days. I'm going on November 19- 22. Does anyone see a problem in this?? No? I'll fill you in: I'm going to Washington DC on the 24th. Yeah. And I was struggling to save up enough for that. Sheiz. (you like that Lara? Did I spell it right?) Granted, I don't have to pay for flights, accom or anything like that, but HELLO?! Souveniers!!! :(

In my excitement, I also feel a bit bummed. When I thought about me going to Europe some day, I tended to think I'd be going with unlimited amounts of time and cash. A weekend visit was not what I was expecting.

Hi, my name is Sarah, and I am an ungrateful biatch.

Hi Sarah.

So yeah, I really am excited though. The money thing has got me down though, and the fact that it's getting bloody cold over here and I realise that my "winter" clothes just ain't gonna cut it.

And did I mention I was poor?!

Looks like I might make a call to mummy and negotiate a loan of sorts. Hopefully the sort I don't have to pay back *wink wink*.

In other news, I got back from the movies about an hour ago where I saw The Departed. I now have a potty mouth (even WORSE than before, if you can imagine it), and am still in shock over the ending. :O

I figure we should play a drinking game to it. Every time someone says the f-word you take a fraction of a sip of your drink. We'd all be passed out after 10 minutes. Some sentences were constructed solely of the f-word. Lol.

Oh, and this weekend we're carving PUMKINS for Halloween!!! I'm so excited! You can bet that there'll be photos.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, I really am still p.o'ed about this morning (refer to previous post). Ah well.

Baby CHEESES!

2006-10-27T14:12:51Z

My GOD. I've come to the conclusion that I can't win. From now on I'm not even going to attempt small-talk with J-dad.

Today was a silly morning. I had to get up at 6 to take S to her ortho appt so she could get to school on time. F left it up to J-dad and I which role to take (either getting J ready for school or accompanying S to her ortho appt) and J-dad said he was fine to get J ready for school. J's normal routine is to get up at 7:30, brekkie done by 8am at latest (that's on a bad day), brush teeth, wash face by 8:05, dressed and hair brushed by 8:15, shoes on and out the door by 8:20 to meet his walking group.

So I got home at a few minutes after 8 from dropping Sarah off at school and J-dad's on his laptop, J's reading his book, an egg is sitting on the bench and not much is happening. So I make J close his book and start eating. It took him til 8:15 to eat it all. I thought that if we hurried we could still make the walking group. J-dad made some flippant comment about me not making J hot breakfasts. Meanwhile, did he see how long it took him to have J's brekkie ready? 20 mins. I make J a hot brekkie if he tells me the night before that he wants one so I can make it before he wakes up so it doesn't waste time. So far J has only asked for a hot brekkie once, and other times he asks for grits (which are foul and I don't really know what they are... kind of like flakes of wheat, only add water and heat, then mix in a tonne of grated cheese) and I make those at least once a week. So that comment really pissed me off.

So anyway, I ended up getting J ready by 8:26 and decided to walk with him to the walking group just in case they had already left. The thing about J is that he walks soooo slowly. In fact, he does everything slooooowly. It gets VERY annoying when you have places to be. In that regard, he is exactly like his dad who, whenever he decides to come with me to take the kids to an activity, or decides to take them himself, always makes us late because he's on the phone or on his computer or whatever.

Maybe THAT's why when I got home and made a joking comment about J not being able to hurry if his life depended on it, rather than just being FRIENDLY and saying, something silly like, "Ah, kids these days" or WHATEVER - anything, just for conversation's sake! - he retorts, "Well, that's who he is. Life is good for him. Wouldn't you like to be able to do that?" blah blah.

Um... whatever.

Seriously, it's like this ALL the TIME. Sometimes I just need an adult to talk to and whinge about some things - not even whinge, just make silly comments to - and normally when I do the person is F, or Lara, or ANYONE SANE and they say, "Oh, I know" and I feel better.

But with J-dad, you can't say anything about his kids without him coming to their defense. Because his kids couldn't possibly be less than perfect. Yes, I understand that they're children and as such act like children. But children can sometimes be frustrating!! Everyone acknowledges that! But not J-dad.

I just had a thought. Maybe cos he's never around his children, that's why he thinks they're the bees' knees. I know people that everyone hates, but I don't mind them because I don't see them everyday and have to deal with them all the time.

For those that I didn't tell why I was having the problems before, this is basically it. I'm over J-dad constantly undermining me in front of the kids and he always makes me feel awkward when I say things to him, such as what happened this morning. After he said, "Wouldn't you like to be able to do that?" I mumbled some non-answer and went straight into my room to write this post.

So from now on, I'm not going to speak to him about his children. So it looks like I won't be speaking to him. Lol.

But next time he makes comments about F doing something he doesn't like, or bitching about her to me, rather than what I was doing before, which was cringing on the inside wondering "what do I say when I agree with her?!" and usually saying, "Oh, really?" or some other non-sensical answer, I'm just going to say, "Well, that's F. Life is good for her. She's an adult and can make those decisions." Or whatever.

ARGH.
KHESBFKJBSFKLDSKNDSFKHGSKHg gKHGIHWIGEWHGHhgskldkhglhdsighewhg mns nbbdfv dscyuuiyuyujyuj\\

Sorry. Just needed to pound out my frustration.